10 Ways to Free Yourself From the Divorce Mindset Trap

Are you struggling with feelings of guilt and resentment? Do you hold on to old grudges and anger? Or are you stuck in the land of negativity?

You may be caught in a web of thoughts. There are 10 ways to free yourself from the divorce mindset trap.

Many divorced men and women are living their present life through the story of their divorce. The story that happened as you experienced it and the colorful chapters you added in an attempt to understand it, move past it, and feel better.

BUT YOU AREN’T FEELING BETTER. SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

It’s easy to fall into what I call the divorce mindset trap. It’s not that you wanted to get trapped here, or feel this way, or become unable to be happy again. Yet here you are.

THERE IS HOPE. It’s never too late to free yourself from the divorce mindset’s grasp. And if you haven’t become a victim to its grip, you can prevent this from happening to you.

Here are 10 Ways to Free Yourself From the Divorce Mindset Trap:

1. Get help and support. The earlier, the better.

Seek out help and support from a therapist or support group. Process through all the feelings so they don’t become trapped inside you. As they say, feelings that you bury are buried alive. A good therapist can help you heal from the painful emotions and work with you to reframe the negative thoughts.

2. Take ownership of your life.

It’s a choice to become a victim of circumstance or victorious in your new life. It takes courage and ownership to earn a happy and joyous life. YOU CAN DO THIS.

3. Create a vision for your future and review it daily.

From where you stand today, what kinds of things would you like to draw or manifest in your new life? What was missing before, or what didn’t feel authentically true? Design a vision board, and don’t be shy about asking for what you want! Put on your creative hat and dream.

4. Learn to be mindful of your thoughts.

Mindfulness is an incredible skill you can learn. It teaches you to be present, aware, and in the driver’s seat of your experience. You can learn to be mindful of your thoughts with the help of a therapist or read one of many good books available to teach you mindfulness techniques, such as “Mindfulness for Beginners” by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

5. Focus on gratitude.

This one tip alone can change your life. Making it a daily habit to practice gratitude will shift your energy from a place of lack and negativity to a place of abundance and positivity. Set aside 5 – 10 minutes each day and think of the little things for which you’re grateful. Become obsessed with it!

6. Ponder abundance around you.

Spend more time considering all the abundance around you. The rays of sunshine, the bountiful ocean, all the vegetables growing ripe and scrumptious, and all the stars in the night sky. Your life is full of abundance when you open your eyes to see it.

7. Discourage mental weeds.

Here is where mindfulness comes in handy. Begin to notice when your thoughts dwell in negativity. Then remove those mental weeds from your garden. You can visualize yourself pulling them out and discarding them.

8. Encourage mental gardening, and tend it daily.

Make it a point to stop each day and become aware of where your thoughts have been. We’re so often on autopilot, and your thoughts can get away from you. Sometimes it’s helpful to keep a thought record each day to track the negative thoughts that creep into your mind. Water the positive, uplifting thoughts that promote your higher good.

9. Invigorate your body, heart, mind, and spirit.

Whether you take walks every morning, go to the gym, hike on a mountain trail, meditate or spend time in your spirituality, it’s important to feed and nourish your body, heart, mind, and spirit.

10. Write a new narrative about your divorce. One that empowers you.

The story about your divorce can be told in more than one way. It all can change with the words you choose. When you feel ready, look at the old story you’ve been telling yourself and others about what happened. If that narrative paints you as a victim or is full of anger and negativity, you can rewrite the words into a story that empowers you.

Your divorce happened. If it’s behind you, work to prevent the negative aspects from taking up permanent residence in your head. If you’re going through the process now, learn these healthy habits and save yourself a lot of time, mental anguish, and heartbreak.

You can free yourself from a mindset that takes you far away from the joy and prevents you from realizing a happy life. It’s never too late to wake up one morning and say, “I want more for myself and my life.”