5 Reasons to Delay Your Divorce Until After the Holidays

Are you contemplating whether you should file for divorce now or wait until after the holiday season?

You and your spouse have decided to divorce, and up until now, you’ve kept this decision between you. Thanksgiving has come and gone. But sometime between then and now, it’s felt harder and harder to act as if everything is normal. Faking smiles and family closeness feels impossible. This time of year is all about couples and families, parties and celebration.

Are you finding it difficult to imagine getting through the rest of the year with this secret? Are you wondering if you should make an announcement, or postpone the process until after the holidays?

Here are five crucial reasons you might want to consider delaying your divorce until after the New Year.

1. This time of year is stressful enough.

As stressful as this decision feels, moving the process forward creates a whole new set of stressors you might not be aware of right now. Add these to the already stressful holiday season, and you’ve got a lot to manage. Giving yourself permission to wait until after the first of the year will enable you to deal with what is most immediate – the holidays and all that they bring. You’ve been weighing this decision for some time. Waiting one more month is doable.

2. It’s expensive.

As if the holidays aren’t financially draining enough, it’s important to consider that separating and filing for divorce costs a lot of money. Consider that you will be consulting with attorneys or mediators, paying the fee to file and serve, and looking for new living quarters if one of you moves out. There is also the cost to provide therapeutic support for yourself and your children.

3. You create an anniversary for the ending of your marriage.

The time of year that you separate or file for divorce becomes an anniversary that sears into your memory. You will never forget where you were when that conversation took place. Do you want the holiday season to remind you of it every year? It’s also important to consider this if you have children. This announcement affects them profoundly, and how you handle it is very crucial to their well-being.

4. Your decision will become the focal point at every celebration or gathering.

As you gather together with family and friends over the holidays, the announcement of your decision to divorce will become the elephant in every room. You may feel ambushed with questions, as everyone is curious and concerned about you. You will start to get the “sad face” when they look at you. Is it worth it? By next holiday season, this decision won’t be new and novel anymore. Everyone, including you, will have had plenty of time to flesh it out.

5. You will affect your children’s experience.

The most important reason you should delay your divorce until after the holidays is for your kids. This time of year is for children. They experience it as a time of joy and wonderment. Announcing the news now will rob them of the ability to enjoy the season.

It might be the last one they ever experience with everyone as a family. It’s essential that you and your spouse do everything you can to put your differences aside and give your children a pleasant memory.

If there’s no chance of reconciliation, postponing this announcement could be the most significant gift you could give them.