Can there be reasons to be happy about your divorce?
When I talk about a divorce as having a positive impact in one’s life, some people get their panties in a royal knot.
In 2017, divorce is still regarded as a one dimensional, negative event in one’s life. Some feel that if you are talking about the good that can come from a divorce, then you are, in essence, advocating for it.
Going through a divorce is one of the most emotionally painful experiences you can go through. Nothing is truer than that.
It’s also a very complicated happening. Divorce can be a time when you experience incredibly joyful moments. Proud moments. Courageous moments. Beautiful moments. Crazy AHA! moments. Once in a lifetime moments. Finding yourself moments.
BUT HOW CAN THAT BE WHEN IT FEELS YOU’VE LOST EVERYTHING?
Only when you’re lost can you be found.
Divorce shakes up everything, and you’re made to wake up to life again. It asks you to be introspective and to grow. You become challenged in ways you might not have been. And you’re made aware of strengths you might not have known existed within you.
Let’s explore a few meaningful ways that a divorce can positively impact your life.
Here are 7 reasons to be happy about your divorce:
1. You are no longer in an unhealthy, unhappy or abusive marriage.
Do you believe you have a right to be happy? You deserve to be treated with respect and to be in a healthy, uplifting and supportive relationship.
2. You have an incredible opportunity to learn from this life-changing experience.
You can use your divorce experience as a foundation for incredible personal growth. It can alter your future life and relationships in a powerfully positive way,
3. You can create a life that is authentic that includes new choices for yourself.
As you learn about yourself and who you are today, you can create a unique experience that is authentically your own. Strive to be honest and true as you set up your new life.
4. You have a richer, more profound understanding of life that you couldn’t have had before your divorce.
One experiences so much during a divorce. Why not start anew with a beginner’s mind? You can choose to throw out old beliefs and labels, understanding that people go through severe trials and get through them. You may develop a broader compassion for others than you had before.
5. You have proven to yourself that of which your made.
Divorce, even in modern times, can set you up for many types of adversity. Cultural, familial, financial, parental and so much more. As you face these challenges and begin to see that you can come out on the other side made stronger, you know that you’re brave and capable of so much!
6. You learn to value what matters, and you let go of superficiality.
Life takes on a new meaning. At a time when it feels as if you are losing so much, you learn to appreciate everything more.
7. You learn to be less judgmental and more accepting of others.
Have you felt judged by acquaintances, family members or friends during your divorce? If so, this can teach you to become less judgmental toward your fellow man. You have a new understanding that until someone can walk in a person’s shoes, they should not judge.
By becoming proactive in your recovery from a divorce, you’re making the most of a challenging situation, stretching and growing you in amazing ways. You’ll become a better version of yourself and reap the rewards of contentment and personal fulfillment.
Hi, I’m Jamie Daniel-Farrell. I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a practice in Westlake Village, CA. If you are in need of support through a divorce or breakup, I would be privileged to help. Please feel free to call me at 805-444-4968.