Father’s Day: A Single Dad’s Story

ONE MAN’S STORY

Late one evening, seated on the floor of his children’s bedroom with tears in his eyes, he knew his marriage was over. The reality of how that might impact his life and that of his children was an intolerable thought. His kids, ages 6 and 4, lay quietly sleeping like beautiful, little dolls in their beds. Everyone’s life was about to change forever, and he knew it.

Paralyzed

Living in his new rental, his first week with the children alone, he felt lost and at odds with what to do. Grocery shopping and making school lunches were daunting tasks for the father who managed hundreds of employees and had mastered success in his business. He found himself fortunate to have the support of his family who lived on the opposite coast, by phone and sometimes by an occasional visit. In time, he began to feel more relaxed and able to navigate through his “new” normal.

(Photograph by Caleb Jones)

Adjusting

Soon he was developing a routine, and that seemed to help him and the children. He was learning to manage the adjustment of seeing the kids every other week. He was feeling relieved and exhausted when his week was up, but then in a few days, found himself missing them terribly. He felt fortunate to be able to do most of the work for his job at home but worried over what he would do when his yearly season of travel arrived.

Important Choices: Children Over Career

As time went on, he became aware of choices that had to be made – crucial choices.  A strategic job opportunity presented itself, one that would require him to relocate and leave the children. He spent a few days agonizing and deliberating over a decision that offered two choices: one, he could leave the children and secure his financial future, or two, he could refuse the job and take less pay, remaining here for them and in their lives as much as possible. Either way, a huge sacrifice had to be made; one that would affect his life and his children’s lives permanently. He decided to accept the new job. As he sat for dinner that night around the kitchen table with his kids, prepared to tell them the news, he looked at their little, joyful faces and he found himself unable to do it. The next morning, he turned down the new job. A critical choice was made. He put his children before his career.

She Started Her Period!

During one of his weeks with the children, his 8-year-old daughter experienced a milestone and right of passage: she began her period. How could it be?  She is only 8-years-old, and I understand nothing about these things, he thought. He was lost and feeling unequipped about what to do and how to handle this moment. He tried calling her mother, who was unavailable and then realized that this significant transition in his daughter’s life was in his hands. He spoke to his family back east who comforted him and gave him instruction. The loving father of a young girl sat down and explained what was happening to her. He reassured her and was there for her.

Impactful Figure

As the years went by, they felt his presence as he attended their sporting events, plays, graduations and many other activities. No matter what was going on in their lives, they knew that he would be there for them. His children are older now. He’s very proud of them, and also of his contribution and sacrifice, knowing he wouldn’t have done it any other way.

There are many amazing stories of fathers who rise to meet the challenge of raising their children after a divorce. These are the men who make a strong commitment to being there, to form meaningful relationships with them, and who make their kids a priority in their lives.

Gentlemen, Happy Father’s Day to all of you.

Brave hearts. Honor your courage. Honor your knowing.