(Photograph by Daria Nepriakhina)
Beautiful girl, you can do hard things.
I love helping women on their journey to recover from divorce. I see the most beautiful souls – vulnerable, lost, confused, and strong. These are the women I call brave hearts. They have been presented with an incredibly difficult challenge and are rising to meet it.
Through the tears, fears and sadness, you put one foot in front of the other every day. It’s nothing short of amazing. For some of you, it feels as if your life was flipped upside down overnight. You didn’t see it coming and now you find yourself forced to emotionally and mentally catch up with your leaver.
They are the ones who were left. And with so many questions.
Your Struggle to Understand Why
Each of your stories are unique and yet common threads connect you. You must close the door on a marriage you didn’t choose to leave, and a divorce you might not understand or want. Your pain is visceral. You struggle to figure out how this happened, often feeling as if you have no proper explanation for your partner leaving. For you, the abandonment can feel painfully personal. Did he just leave because of me?
You desperately want to know your ex’s thoughts and feelings, and you spend a lot of time attempting to answer your questions from the perspective of your ex.
Finding Your Answers Within
Time and distance often bring clarity. What didn’t you see before that is now coming to light? Were there indications that your marriage was in trouble? Looking back, you discover there were warning signs, but one question continues to nag at you:
Why didn’t he just talk to me about what was bothering him? He didn’t even give me a chance.
As a therapist, I find it more useful to help you begin to explore and identify areas of the marriage where you feel you can take responsibility, both for what you think you did well and for what you could have improved upon. In time you will come to an understanding of your divorce, one that will provide you meaning that makes sense to you, allowing you to heal and move forward in your life.
You will discover so much about yourself: your strengths and weaknesses, hopes and dreams, passions and values, and in the process create a vision for a meaningful life that feels authentically your own. Your journey toward that end may yield many unexpected gifts along the way. One of the most important, finding the answers. Your answers.
If you need support to process the end of your marriage, I would be happy to help. Please call me at 805-444-4968 to schedule your free 20-minute consultation. Learn about our healing community for divorcing women.
Brave Hearts. Honor Your Courage. Honor Your Knowing.
Hi, my name is Jamie Daniel-Farrell. I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a practice in Westlake Village, CA. Specializing in couples counseling and divorce recovery, I provide counseling services for individuals and couples who are motivated to create healthier, happier lives and relationships. If you're ready to break out of unhealthy patterns in your relationship, I would be happy to help! Please feel free to reach out or to call me at: